Six years have gone by with sorrow, but life goes on. Fortunately, we were supported unconditionally by many people, including nurses and strangers. In 2006, I participated in a reunion hosted by the Children’s Cancer Foundation. The reunion aimed to mourn the passing of children and for parents to express their sadness and reminisce the memories of the deceased ones. During the event, flowers were dedicated to the children, and at that moment many of the parents became emotional. Instead of hiding the pain that had been bottled in their hearts for a very long time, they burst into tears. I also felt a heart-wrenching sadness watching this scene.
At that moment, I realised the influence and the rejuvenating power of support. If only we, the parents who have lost a child, take a step forward to let those who love us guide us in our loss and sorrow, we can gradually let aside our sadness. Encouraging, empathising and supporting the parents who had similar experiences is the anchor that we may hold on to for comfort and rest.
As a result, the Bereavement Club* was created in the hopes that through experience and sharing by nurses and parents, as well as activities, lectures, and group discussions, those who find themselves drifting in a sea of sorrow would find themselves refreshed and revived.
*This text was written by Fung’s mother, the same year as the establishment of the Bereavement Club. The name (in Chinese) was adopted through her suggestion. Bereavement Club (緣風會), in Chinese, has an explanation and meaning behind each of the characters. “緣” means fate: it was destined for the child to live with their parents, even though it was inevitable that they passed away swiftly like the wind (“風”). “會”, in addition to meaning “club” or “meeting”, also expresses a hope that the child and the parent(s) may reunite in heaven again.